Barbara W.

I met Barbara through her wonderful daughter, Samantha, in grade 9. Barb is one of the most generous, hospitable, sweet women I know. The Whites were kind enough to employ me for a few summers, working for Jeff White Property Maintenance. One of those summers, I tagged along with them to an Eagles concert. They surprised Sam and I with a limo (my first one!) to take us all down to Toronto to a beautiful dinner, followed by the concert. I'll never forget that! Barb is well known for a lot of work she does in the community, such as the Prom Night for Cancer fundraiser the Whites put on every year. She put up with my teenage shenanigans and is still someone I try my best to see every time I'm back home. Not to mention she makes the best damn pickles in probably the entire world, and she saves multiple jars for me every year. What a woman!

Where are you from and where are you now?

I was born in Rhinbeck, New York while my parents were there for business. My Dad worked for I.B.M. So we moved every couple of years. I traveled with them around the world until my teens.

I now live just north of Barrie with my family and have been in this area since 1992.

What goals are you working towards and what keeps you motivated?

I don’t want to say that I have reached all my goals because my bucket list gets longer as I get older, but at 52 I am really happy where my life has led me so far.

What does confidence mean to you?  

For me confidence means doing your best. If you can honestly say you have completed whatever you are doing to the best of your ability then there is a reassuring confidence in that.

Where does your confidence come from?

My confidence comes from my family and friends. I am surrounded by an amazing group of people that fill my life with love and laughter everyday

What do you love about yourself?

         a) Mentally? 

I appreciate good conversation and humour. I love when I can interact with other people that are quick witted and the conversation flows easily.

         b) Physically? 

My hair – honestly, I grew up in the 70’s …..not much else to say really :)

         c) Emotionally? 

That I cry easily. That may sound sappy, but I love that I am still connected and in touch. So many people can become hardened as they get older.

What is one of your greatest accomplishments?  

Well as a mother I have to say my children…….. don’t I? But in all honesty they are my greatest accomplishments.  

I have three beautiful children that make me proud everyday. I can honestly say that I enjoy spending my time with them.

Do you find you compare yourself to others often?  

I am a woman…..so YES, all the time. But seriously, it's hard not to compare yourself to others in today's society where everything everyone is doing is right in front of you. But I try to embrace our differences and learn and live with kindness. No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

What is something in your life that you have had to overcome, or that you are working to overcome?

I have a little bit of an A personality. I have been compared to Monica on Friends more than once and it is an ongoing thing I work on everyday. That being said though, if you are going to help fold the towels do it right the first time so I don’t have to redo them.

What always makes you feel better?

Music. I don’t play an instrument, and singing out loud is painful, mostly to others, but still, painful all the same. Music fills me with so much happiness.

Is there anything about yourself- mentally, physically, or emotionally that you would like to improve?  

I tend to be over sensitive…..I guess that goes along with what I love about myself as well.

I take everything to heart and feel too deeply at times, hence the crying……but I do need to learn not to internalize EVERYTHING!

What is one of your insecurities?  

I have never liked to be the center of attention. With all the events I have planned and been involved with I know people find that hard to believe, but I have always maintained that I am a “behind the scenes” person. I will organize anything or anyone, just don’t make me speak in front of people. I just may throw up!

How do you deal with jealousy?

At my age I have managed to out grow jealousy……not to say the green eyed monster didn’t get the best of me at times. It’s just important to remember that nothing can be forced… if it’s meant to be, it will be.

Do you feel pressured by societal norms for your life to turn out a certain way?  

In my 20’s and 30’s for sure I felt pressure….wedding, houses, kids, bills, friends…. everywhere you turned there was pressure to make the right decision. Not only for yourself but for the three children you were now responsible for. However there is a sense of peace that comes with age.  At the end of the day the most important thing is not where you live, or what school you went to; the most important thing is: are you happy?

Who has helped shape who you are?   

My parents. I wasn’t fortunate enough to have them in my life for very long.  They both passed away within 8 months of each other when I was 28. But going forward, everything I did or tried to do was in hopes that they would be proud of me. I still hope so.

What is the most important part of a romantic relationship?  

To me the most important part of a relationship is fun. It is important that you enjoy each other’s company and share the same interests. Love is amazing and can literally change your life, but you have to like the person you love. I am lucky enough to be married to my best friend who makes me laugh every day.

What are three things you are grateful for today?   

My past, My present, My future

What book should I read and why?

The Four Agreements by : Don Miguel Ruiz – I try to read this book every year

Paige R.

Paige or as I like to call her, Pee, was my very first friend in high school. We sat beside each other in science class and she drew me in with her beautiful green eyes :) Pee has this goofy, playful personality about her; she's so easy to be around. I have countless memories of roaming the streets of Barrie on hot summer nights, talking about teenage girl stuff. Though I can't remember the last time I saw her, I'll always consider her a good friend.

Where are you from and where are you now?

I’m from Barrie. My family moved there when I was a baby and I moved away to Ottawa when I was 20. I’m still in Ottawa but only for another couple months.

What goals are you working towards and what keeps you motivated?

My main goal is to feel secure with myself. I have trouble feeling grounded and I’m always worried about what I think I should be doing that I forget what I want or love to do. It’s like I forget how to trust myself. I have a habit of trying to make everyone else happy (even though I quickly learned that it’s impossible to do.) I tend to shut down, and I hold things in, and I know that’s not very healthy. Anyways, I’m learning, and I have my days.

What keeps me motivated?

My family and loved ones, for sure. It’s the best when I’m happy and they’re happy and life is good; simple. I think the more I work on my goals and myself the more often this will be.

What does confidence mean to you?

Being able to release your inhibitions without thinking about what you look like from the outside. Self-acceptance. Confidence is a power tool and it’s also contagious.

Where does your confidence come from?

Confidence and self-esteem is something I’m always working on. I practice self-care. I try to take ‘me moments’ every day. Writing definitely helps me. I find it so therapeutic and useful when I’m trying to quiet my brain. I try to take care of my body and eat well. Doing all this totally helps me feel more in tune with myself, more comfortable in my skin. I feel like it comes from my role models as well. There are women and men in my life that remind me not to take myself (and life) too seriously. I always want to be more like them in that way. They teach me every day without even knowing it.

What do you love about yourself?
        a) Mentally?

I have a pretty good memory. I remember strange and little details about things.

      

       b) Physically?

My hair is very cooperative.

      

       c) Emotionally?

At first I wanted to say that I love how sensitive I am. But truthfully I have a love-hate relationship with this. I think ultimately it’s a pretty special thing, to be able to pick up on energies and feel so many things at once, but it’s also exhausting. My second answer, I guess, is my patience. I can stay pretty calm in heated situations. I don’t get angry too often.

What is one of your greatest accomplishments?

I graduated university and survived this city and all the bumps along the way. I worked really hard to do that and I finally feel like I’m in a good place.

Do you find you compare yourself to others often?

Too much too often, it’s a terrible habit... especially girls comparing other girls. We can be really motivating and empowering when we accept one another and embrace our differences. Fer real.

What is something in your life that you have had to overcome, or that you are working to overcome?

I have some inner demons and past experiences that I’ve ignored or pushed away and in the past year or two they are surfacing. I’ve been dealing with some anxiety and this affects my relationships with the people around me. It’s definitely a work in progress.

What always makes you feel better?

Sunshine.

Is there anything about yourself- mentally, physically, or emotionally that you would like to improve?

I’m trying not to worry so much, and to rest more. My mom always said ‘you’ll worry yourself sick’ and she was right.

What is one of your insecurities?

I have big feet and they are flat so really they are just long. I’m short so I feel like it’s really noticeable.

How do you deal with jealousy?

I try to think of the bigger picture; put things in perspective. I self-reflect... why am I jealous? What do I feel so threatened by? When you turn the attention back to yourself it’s both a distraction and a lesson. I used to get jealous a lot more than I do now but I realized it takes a lot of energy out of you, and it makes you bitter. I don’t want to be like that, so I’d rather focus my energy elsewhere.

Do you feel pressured by societal norms for your life to turn out a certain way?

Yeah, I do sometimes, even though I know these norms are constructed and so mostly fictional or

unattainable. It’s important to remember that life isn’t a race or a competition.

Who has helped shape who you are?

My family. Including my closest friends.

What is the most important part of a romantic relationship?

Communication and acceptance.  My best and most healthy relationship is the one where I can tell my partner anything and not feel judged. Sharing feelings and dreams is a really intimate thing, you know?

What are three things you are grateful for today?

This gorgeous weather! My strong coffee!  My man who makes me laugh!

What book should I read and why?

A Complicated Kindness by Miriam Toewes, because it's simply beautiful and heartbreaking.

Natasha Genevieve R.

Natasha and I met the summer after grade 11 while working as Ontario Junior Rangers in Northern Ontario (Quetico Park). I knew she was one of my people immediately, and she quickly became a campbestfriend. Natala is one with nature and an incredible artist. For the majority of our friendship we have lived too far away from each other, but there was a short period of time when she was in Oakville and I was in Toronto (about 30 mins apart). It was magical. Nat's someone I can always count on to be there; I feel like I can talk to her about absolutely anything without judgments, and she always has words of wisdom and honesty. She's so positive and happy, beautiful and talented, and just has something about her that draws you in. I don't think I have enough good things to say about her. Girl crush? Maybe.

After you read this (or before), you should really check out Natasha's website. My absolute favourite collection of hers is this one; It's so adorable.

Where are you from and where are you now?

I'm from Northern Ontario and now I live in Calgary, Alberta with my dorky significant other and two crazy cats.

What goals are you working towards and what keeps you motivated?

Right now I’m working on two major goals. The first is a new body of artwork that I can present to galleries and hopefully land my first solo exhibition. My second goal is I’m thinking about going back to school to pair my Art degree with a professional degree. I just need to figure out what that professional degree will be. Going back to school at 25 is very different than when you were 17. The meal plan just isn’t as important anymore.

What does confidence mean to you?

I think confidence means being true to who you are and trying to hold onto to that authenticity. It’s a fine balance between allowing yourself to boast about what you know you can do and knowing where you need to improve.

Where does your confidence come from?

My confidence comes from my family, mostly. I’ve always had all the support I needed. My family always trusted my decisions, but were never afraid to give me their opinions. I learned how to take chances and constructive criticism. Because I always knew I had family backing me up, I’ve been able to put myself in a lot of unfamiliar situations where I learned a lot about myself. I think in order to remain confident you need to embrace change and have new experiences; you can’t become stagnant.

What do you love about yourself?
          a) Mentally?
I’m a daydreamer. I know others hate it when I space out haha. But this is when I get my best ideas and where my creativity comes from.
     

        b) Physically?
I look really good in hats, which is a blessing because my hair never cooperates.

        c) Emotionally?
I’m very emotional. I can’t watch anything too violent and whenever I see the lost dog signs at my bus stop, it makes me really depressed all day. I always hear, “You’re an artist, you’re suppose to be emotional” But being emotional hasn't allowed me to be ‘good at art’. Being emotional has allowed me to sympathize easily with others, to be open minded and a good listener.

What is one of your greatest accomplishments?

I backpacked Europe with my best friend. It was a dream of ours for many years. I worked two jobs during my last year of University and every single weekend just to afford it.

Do you find you compare yourself to others often?

Every time I go on Facebook aha. Mostly I see people travelling and I think, “WHEN AM I GONNA GO SOMEWHERE NEXT?” Then I get my student loan bill in the mail.

What is something in your life that you have had to overcome, or that you are working to overcome?

I’ve been pretty blessed my whole life. I’m not ignorant to the fact that I am a white female from a healthy and happy middle-class family. But as an artist I’m trying to overcome this idea that whatever project I'm working on is never good enough. I need to be sure in the work that I’m making and just allow myself to create.

What always makes you feel better?
A good cup of tea.

Is there anything about yourself- mentally, physically, or emotionally that you would like to improve?
I’m trying to be more patient. Not with people so much, but more with the things I want out of life. I need to give myself time to make art, to pay off loans, to travel. Sometimes we want everything now now now that we forget to work hard for it. All we see is what we’re NOT doing, instead of what we ARE doing.

What is one of your insecurities?

Where do I start?? My skin hasn’t gotten the memo that I’m 25 and shouldn’t have break outs like a 16 year old girl. That’s a big one. Hats don’t cover your face unfortunately.

How do you deal with jealousy?
I run. Any kind of exercise makes my jealousy go away. It clears my head and the endorphins released make me feel confident again (That’s not a scientific fact that’s just how I feel).

Do you feel pressured by societal norms for your life to turn out a certain way?

100% I do. Any time you open any kind of social media there’s some kind of quote image that’s telling you how to think or be. You can’t shut it out, you just need to learn to think independently and critically.

Who has helped shape who you are?
My mom. She’s always been tough love on me and never let me complain about the silly things. I think my entire life I was brought up on, “Natasha you know there are people in the world who don’t have this..” She always put things in perspective for me when I can’t see it myself.

What is the most important part of a romantic relationship?
COMMUNICATION!! Have the hard talks. Laughter is also key.

What are three things you are grateful for today?

Apart from the usual my health and my family? I’m pretty thankful that my significant other has allowed me turn 75% of our tiny apartment into an art studio. I’m also thankful for google maps because I can’t get anywhere without it. I mean I guess if we didn’t have that technology I’d be better at navigating with a real map but let’s be honest, have you ever tried folding one of those things??

What book should I read and why?

Harry Potter! Because it's incredible that such a youthful and magical and intricate story  came from somebody's head! You see the characters grow and develop, then you become attached to them and have to remind yourself that they're fictional. It'll make you laugh and cry. Harry Potter, always.

Sheena B.

Sheena and I first met in NYC in 2009 through mutual friends at a conservation party for Central Park. At that same party, we met Chris Noth (Mr. Big from Sex and the City), and I managed to spill my dirty martini on him... but that's another story. Over the years we saw each other a few times, then both ended up in Toronto. We hung out more, went to Jamaica for a wedding, and I was lucky to get to know Sheena better. She's the life of the party; always encouraging more fun- even if you're exhausted/semi-hungover from a day of drinking Pina Coladas in the sun. While living in Toronto, Sheena started her business called Tease Tea. She's a strong, beautiful, and motivated entrepreneur, filled with some great advice.


Where are you from and where are you now? 

I am "technically"  from Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. That said, I've spent most of my childhood living in many different small towns across Ontario. You could say the only constant in my life has been change. 

When I graduated college, I moved to NYC for my career followed by San Francisco Bay Area, then Toronto. 

The irony is that I am now settled back in Ottawa, the city in which I was born, and have never been happier. Funny how it took me years of travel and new homes to figure that out.

What goals are you working towards and what keeps you motivated? 

I'm working on building my online Tea Femmpire, called Tease Tea. It's been a chaotic and challenging journey the past two years. Two things keep me motivated: The passion and drive I have for being my own boss, and building something beautiful from the ground up. 

The other part, are my customers. Every time we receive a positive review, or repeat customer, it's my fuel. I know we are on the right track to continue to grow. 


What does confidence mean to you? 
Being unapologetically yourself, and authentic. I spent years hiding my own eccentricities, wishing at times they didn't exist. 

It's still a work in progress, though I've learned to embrace who I am, flaws and all, and it's made me a more confident personally and professionally. 

Where does your confidence come from? 
It might not make sense to most, however, I feel my confidence has come from my many failures, questionable choices, and non-traditional upbringing.

Being able to come out of those things "okay" has fueled me to constantly prove to myself, and sometimes others, that I am so much more than those failures, choices, and circumstance of environment. Proving those things one small feat at a time has built the confidence. 


What do you love about yourself:
          a) Mentally?

My desire to always problem solve with minimal resources, and not take time or energy stressing about things that I literally have little to no control over. I already have enough things within my control to focus on!

 
b) Physically?

I see the word physically and I think "Man, I'm out of shape!" I literally huff and puff just speed walking, and I can't run without breaking into an itchy rash due to my body just not being used to sweating. 

If I had to choose something physically, I'd say two things; my "exotic" features, and my hair. I get asked multiple times a week "what my background/nationality" is. I also like that I have no idea. It keeps people guessing, and I like that I can't answer because I know that they can't peg my personality and physical features to a stereotype in their mind. 

As for my hair - Although it always has to be styled in some form, it listens well, and looks pretty good most days. I can also shamelessly go days without washing it. Being as on the go as I am, that couldn't make me happier.  

 
c) Emotionally?

In recent years, I've become incredibly self aware, almost to a fault. This was not the case for most of my adult life to date. I remember at a job a few years back, a woman in HR once told me she "questioned my lack of emotional intelligence."  It hurt. I realize in retrospect, in the past, about 95% of my personal, professional, and life decisions had been made with little to know emotional factors. In fact, I had "prided" myself on being able to make decisions and manage people without getting emotions involved or considering the emotions of others. I think back to that, and I cringe. 

Today, I am always trying to be mindful of how I can be a better listener, leader, friend, spouse, etc. instead of just assuming I am doing fine. 

When I get into a heated debate, I ask myself "How could I have chosen my words in a different way that would have made me more understood? How could I have understood that person better?" 

I'm also wildly aware of my strengths, flaws, and weaknesses more than I've ever been, and try to have the self-awareness to improve or navigate around the challenges instead of hiding them.

What is one of your greatest accomplishments?

Deciding to leave my career in hospitality and start a business as a full time entrepreneur. I'd always thought I was destined to own a restaurant. I was also making great money at my last job as a GM. 

A crushing blow to my self-esteem and ego during my last year in hospitality left me seriously questioning what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. While I love the art of hospitality, did I want to continue working 70+ hours a week, sacrificing weekends, evenings and holidays to delight strangers on top of feeling so disposable to the industry? 

With little to no money, I made the brave choice to work on my business fulltime in 2014. I've since begun working with an incredible company called Shopify, while running my business and the two go hand in hand. I spend my week working with a company that builds, creates, and helps entrepreneurs grow, while I also continue to build and grow my own business. 


Do you find you compare yourself to others often?

I think we all do sometimes. I try to always remind myself that it's not fair to compare yourself to someone else because their journey is entirely different from yours. 

What is something in your life that you have had to overcome, or that you are working to overcome?

That I own a real, thriving, business and not just a "hobby" tea company. We receive more success with each month, yet I still have not had the "we've made it" feeling. I know that's ridiculous at the same time, as we are in fact a truly thriving business. 

What always makes you feel better?

B+B: Bubblebath & Bourbon. It gets me relaxed, energized, and happier at the same time, every time. The bourbon has to be ice cold on the rocks and the bath piping hot with so many bubbles that I can barely see.



Is there anything about yourself- mentally, physically, or emotionally that you would like to improve? 

I want to improve on all of the above, everyday. I accept being a student for the rest of my life. Though if I had to pick one thing specifically, it's being late. I recognize that I have an issue respecting the time of others to the same level that I expect my time to be respected.

What is one of your insecurities?

My smile! Which is unfortunate as I laugh a lot. I have a very "gummy" smile, and super tiny teeth. They also happen to be in terrible shape, and I need several dental implants. 

How do you deal with jealousy?

I tell myself that instead of being jealous, I should be proud. That generally shifts the negative energy and thinking.  

Do you feel pressured by societal norms for your life to turn out a certain way?

I used to, a lot. Now I actually just don't care about how my life turns out. I really don't. As long as 1) My work involves doing something I love 2) I am in a healthy, mutually positive and loving relationship/partnership. 

Who has helped shape who you are? 

I never really had much of a mentor growing up. My dad was always supportive of whatever creative avenues that I wanted to explore such as acting, singing, etc. but in terms of who I am today - I would have to say my life experiences have shaped who I am rather than an actual human being.

What is the most important part of a romantic relationship?

Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook says it best:

"When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated, and ambitious".

"Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier. [and romantic]"

What are three things you are grateful for today? 

1. I get to help entrepreneurs and be a better entrepreneur every day.
2. That I haven't given up on my business yet, despite many challenging moments where I've questioned myself deeply. 
3. Patrick, my other half - he is so incredibly supportive of each and every single day we share together. On days when It's hour 12 and I'm still working, there's no conversation - he makes dinner. On days where we have an obscene amount of tea orders, he's packing tea. On days where I need to travel for work, if he can, he's traveling by my side to work a trade show or support am media opportunity. On days I'm so stressed i could cry, he's got the B+B (Bubble bath & Bourbon) ready to go.

What book should I read and why? 

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Habits form who we are as individuals personally and professionally. This book helps to identify and create the habits that are going to help shape the best you on both of those fronts. My two favourite take aways: 

Do something. Stop sitting around and take action. Every minute you’re sitting around checking Facebook etc, you’re not taking action getting you closer to you dreams

Plan what you’re taking action about.  Don’t just take action willy-nilly.  Actually have a plan. Think things through.  Do one thing in the right order before you need to do the next thing in order to get where you want to go. This is something I still struggle with daily, though try to make it a habit to create more planning around my actions.