Cloé L.

I think Cloé is the newest friend I have featured on here; we met at our current job (I'm pretty sure she's one of the first, if not the first person I met when I arrived) and I'll admit I creepily decided in my head... immediately... that we had to be friends. So then I made her be my friend. But for real though; Cloé is someone who is so easy to talk to, so friendly, beautiful, sometimes has a sexy little French accent if you listen close, AND she is from Canada so I can make her be my friend forever! From Jimjilbangs (nude public bath houses oo la la), to various "shows" at an exhibition place near us, to henna and drinking wine, she's been my go-to girl this year. She is understanding, compassionate, hard working, generous, and is always there to listen. She's an all around wonderful person with a big big heart.

Where are you from and where are you now?

Alberta and Quebec are where I grew up, but I currently call Seoul my home.

What goals are you working towards and what keeps you motivated?

Well, where should I begin? I’m the type of person who is always working on something.
The major goal, the one that has kept me motivated for close to 3 years now, the the reason for me being in Korea, well that one is easy. I’m here working towards making the trip of a lifetime that will see me solo traveling across South East Asia and parts of Europe over the course of 6 months! I’m so close I can almost taste it!
Part of me secretly, or not so secretly, just wants to be home. I am really looking forward to being home again.

What does confidence mean to you?

Confidence to me means not letting another person dictate your happiness or self worth.  Whether that be in the form of a relationship status, loving to treat yourself to that double cheeseburger, becoming a gym rat and saying no to many social invitations or for simply not giving up on your dreams, knowing full well that it may cause others pain. Confidence is knowing what you stand for, being comfortable in your own skin, being kind, helpful, wholehearted and never settling for anything less than what you know you deserve. Confidence is a part of you, like a muscle. You can strengthen it or neglect it, but it is always there, waiting to be used..  

Where does your confidence come from?

The foundation of my confidence comes from the woman who raised me. There are not enough words to describe how much she has influenced my life. She is a beautiful, selfless, strong and tenacious woman! She doesn’t give up and I strive to follow in her footsteps.
My brother, Jason, and his girlfriend, Kate are a great source of confidence for me. I am so lucky to be living at the other end of the world with them and I can not express how much that means to me. They are my family and my family's opinions I value like no other. They have always supported me and put me in my place when need be. They ground me, and with how high I tend to fly...I need them from to time to time.
Of course, at the end of the day, I wouldn’t be who I am without the friends, acquaintances or people that I have, have had or will have in my life. There are a handful of people in my life that I cannot live without and they have contributed to my personal growth like no other. Jessica is one of the most beautiful human beings I have ever met and I could not be the confident woman I am today without a friend like her at my side!  She is my person, till the end.

What do you love about yourself?
          a) Mentally? I love my strong character. I have learned a lot about myself these past 3 years living abroad and I am mentally stronger than I have ever been! I love, love, love that I am finally being more comfortable with just saying “no”. I am learning to love myself and to do what makes me happy. It is an incredible feeling!  b) Physically? I love my curves! More specifically, my behind! In the past 2 years I have come to realize that I love weightlifting and that I am actually quite good at it. As many women before me, I have always felt insecure of my body and thought that lifting weights meant gaining huge amounts of muscle. I am very happy to say that that is not the case! I am falling in love with my body, one body part at a time! :)   c) Emotionally? I wear my emotions on my sleeve. At times this is something I love about myself because I am not a hard person to read but in other cases...I could use some work in that aspect. I’ve learned to say no, to listen to my wants and needs. To respect myself. When it comes to our emotions, there is always room to grow. :)

What is one of your greatest accomplishments?

My greatest accomplishments thus far have been quitting smoking, regaining control of my health and well being, and living/working abroad.
These 3 accomplishments seemed like impossible feats until I actually set my mind to it and just did it!

Do you find you compare yourself to others often?

Constantly. I wish I could say otherwise. I really do. I know it is an unhealthy, negative behavior because everyone has a different path, a different story and we shouldn’t let another person's journey dictate ours but.. it still happens.

I’m working on creating my own story.

What is something in your life that you have had to overcome, or that you are working to overcome?

My body dysmorphia. From an early age I was diagnosed with a hormone imbalance. This lead to quite a few embarrassing side effects for a growing teenage girl. I didn’t know how to deal with being different from other girls my age, so I shied away from certain situations. Boys mostly.
I’m happy to say that today, after being diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) back in March, I understand what my body is going through. I am learning more about myself now than ever before.

What always makes you feel better?

My friends. My family. A good dinner and a great glass of wine.

Is there anything about yourself- mentally, physically, or emotionally that you would like to improve?

Life is about all about reinventing yourself. Learning. Growing. Striving for more. I am always looking to improve myself, in all aspects of my life, but I am also very happy with how I’ve gotten to where I am today. :)
If I had to pick something? I would love to be more of a reader, more organized and have a bit more self discipline.

What is one of your insecurities?

My irrational fear of being disliked.

How do you deal with jealousy?

I try to give myself a reality check when this happens. Jealousy can overwhelm you and I try to take a step back, talk to someone about how I’m feeling, and let the emotion out, rather than keep it locked inside. I find talking to my friends and family helps me through a lot of issues I may have in life.

Do you feel pressured by societal norms for your life to turn out a certain way?

Oh definitely. Who doesn’t feel the pressure to have a white picket fence, the cars, the perfect partner, the babies and the career to top it all off. WOW! I can feel the pressure just from typing it out like that.

Who has helped shape who you are?

My friends. My parents. My brother. These are some beautiful and inspirational people!

What is the most important part of a romantic relationship?

Communication and spontaneity.

What are three things you are grateful for today?

Korea. My job. The people I have met along the way.

What book should I read and why?

I’m not much of a book worm, but I am trying to change that. ;)
A book I was recently gifted with that has a beautiful message is “Me Before You”.
If you’re looking for something a bit more steamy then get your hands on the “Outlander” series. You can thank me later.

Stephanie H.

Meet my girl Steph! Steph and I, along with Natasha (who you may have also read about), met while working at Quetico Park in Northern Ontario after the summer of grade 11. Steph is this super bubbly, friendly, smart, adventurous, no BS kind of lady. She's someone I can always turn to for honest advice without any sugar coat. Don't get me wrong though, she's also the sweetest bean. I've been lucky enough to both live and travel with her. She's really really good at playing with my hair. She also gave me my first real experience with Pad Thai and Glass Noodle Salad for which I am forever grateful. She has given me copious amounts of book and podcast recommendations. She comes from a wonderful family who have been gracious hosts to me multiple times. It's hard to believe the last time I saw her was two whole years ago saying farewell at Indira Gandhi Airport in Delhi. I absolutely love hearing about all of her worldly adventures and seeing what she has been up to. She's a forever kind of friend and I miss her soso much and I'm so excited for you to read all about her :)
Where are you from and where are you now? I am from Toronto, Ontario and I'm writing this from Alaska! More specifically, in Denali National Park on a larger road trip of Alaska and Yukon.

What goals are you working towards and what keeps you motivated? Right now I'm trying to find some more normalcy and permanence to my life. I have been tree planting for 8 years and travelling in between, and while it's been wonderful it's been a lot of moving around and does not lend itself to any sort of long term plans. So I'm just trying to figure out what I want to do and where I want to live, for a little while at least. What does confidence mean to you? I think confidence is being able to lead the life you want no matter what. Confidence is making the best decisions for yourself no matter what other people are telling you to do or doing themselves. Once you're happy with your life everything else, including confidence in smaller aspects of your life, will come naturally. Where does your confidence come from? My confidence comes from my parents. They are incredibly supportive of my wild life and have always told me I could do whatever I wanted. Still to this day whenever I'm saying bye to my dad on the phone, he says: "I love you and I'm proud of you" no matter where I am or what I'm doing. Ever since I was little my mom would tell me to always remember how much she loves me whenever I'm upset or worried. It seems like small things but knowing that I always have them for support is huge. They are also such amazing examples for me to have had growing up. When I was young I didn't realize how smart they were about every little decision. But now I see how they created this incredible life for themselves that they can fully enjoy in their retirement. They also love each so much and are still sometimes like love sick teenagers haha. Having a strong example of real love in my life has contributed to my confidence as well. Knowing from a young age that that relationship is possible is an incredible gift. My mom is also one of the strongest women i can imagine in every aspect of her life, so having an amazing female role model like my mama has made me really comfortable and confident as a woman. I think I've caused them a fair bit of worry over the years when I've been gone for long periods of time but they have never once tried to stop me from doing whatever i was I after. What do you love about yourself?
a) Mentally? I'm really curious and adventurous and it's led me to incredible places and incredible people.
b) Physically? I like that I'm tall! I have a pretty athletic physique and I've always played loads of sports but I'm really grateful that I'm naturally healthy and strong.
c) Emotionally? I'm generally a really happy person and I try to stay positive about everything. I think complaining can be toxic to yourself and everyone around you so I try to avoid It, which lends itself to a pretty happy life. What is one of your greatest accomplishments? I got really into hiking last year when I was in South America and although I've always been physically active and spent a lot of time outdoors, climbing big peaks in high altitude was a whole new challenge. After three months I decided to attempt Huayna Potosi at 6088 meters and I made to the top which was the hardest thing I've ever done but also one of the most amazing! There is nothing as satisfying as being on the top of a huge mountain that your body carried you to. Do you find you compare yourself to others often? Yea totally! I think everyone does, and I don't think that has to be a bad thing. There are so many amazing people to learn from and comparing yourself and your situation to others can be a great way to learn and improve. Of course if your comparisons come from a place of envy or critique it's a bad thing, but I find that through comparison you can discover a lot of new things which can be wonderful. What is something in your life that you have had to overcome, or that you are working to overcome? I broke my back about 4 years ago and that was a huge blow to my confidence and mental state. I'd never had a serious injury or illness before that and it definitely made me take a step back and realize how quickly our lives can be turned upside down. While it was hard physically to overcome and took months of hospital visits and physical therapy and basically doing nothing for myself, it was much harder mentally to get over. I was angry and depressed and in denial and feeling emotions I didn't know what to do with and it took a really long time to get back to feeling like myself. I went from being extremely independent to moving back into my parents house and having them do absolutely everything for me. I couldn't leave the house alone, I couldn't shower, I couldn't work, I couldn't have the future I'd planned for myself. My parents and my friends were endless sources of support and especially patience even when I would push them away and be a huge bitch and I'll forever be grateful for that. What always makes you feel better? Chocolate and reading. Pizza. Is there anything about yourself- mentally, physically, or emotionally that you would like to improve? I over think and over analyze things to the extreme sometimes. I can take a small comment and blow it up to something huge in my mind. I'd like to be able to take things in stride and be a bit more resilient when it comes to criticism. What is one of your insecurities? Well I'm a bit of a perfectionist with some things and I don't always love it when I don't know certain things or get things wrong haha. I sometimes get insecure in new situations when I feel like I should know what to do but I really don't.

How do you deal with jealousy? Hmm I try not to get too jealous about most things, but when I notice a feeling of jealousy I try to think about what exactly it is that I'm envious of and why. If it's something that would make me happy and something I really want to do I try to go after it! If it's something more superficial I try to just let it go. Do you feel pressured by societal norms for your life to turn out a certain way? Yes and no. I mean it's pretty impossible to ignore societal norms and I certainly question where I am in life at times but I think that's a good thing. If nothing else it makes me realize I'm much happier doing what I'm doing than a lot of people I know who are living a more conventional life. I don't really feel pressured to do anything different but I'm aware that I wouldn't fit into most societal norms. Who has helped shape who you are? My parents are an obvious one and I think less obviously would be my older brother. He and I are extremely different and our lives seem to be continually heading in opposite directions but we're still extremely close. When I was young I wanted to do everything he did; he played hockey, I played hockey; he went to camp, I went to camp etc. The people I met tree planting, especially in my first few years have definitely shaped who I am. I started planting after my first year of university and everyone else was older and travelling and it was all I wanted to do. It was always so bittersweet heading back to school in September while my friends were flying or driving around the world. As soon as I graduated I started travelling and I haven't stopped since. What is the most important part of a romantic relationship? Communication. It's so easy to misunderstand or be misunderstood which can lead to a fight or argument over nothing at all. Sometimes people just need to talk things out and have someone really listen to them. On the flip side, it's also so important to realize that sometimes people need to be left alone and to say nothing at all. What are three things you are grateful for today? 1) being able to see Canada's north 2) visiting my friends and family in Toronto in a month who I haven't seen in 6 months 3) having friends all over BC that I can see along my way south! What book should I read and why? I love giving people (and especially you!) book recommendations! Although I tend to be kind of long winded with them... I recently read Into Thin Air and really enjoyed it. It's a true story, outdoor adventure (same author as into the wild) and will either get you in the mood to start climbing or stay away from it forever. I also loved the MaddAddam trilogy by Margaret Atwood. The first book is called Oryx and Crake and is amazing.

Kristen S.

Since I started this blog, a couple people have mentioned that they’re looking forward to reading my answers; I figured it was about time I share them with you after so many amazing women agreed to open themselves up to people they do and do not know. I’ve been thinking about doing a blog like this for a while now. I was always curious about certain people’s strength and confidence in themselves, so I asked women who I view as strong and confident to complete the questions for me. Of course, it’s a LOT to ask- these aren’t easy questions, and they can be quite personal. There are many people who I’d love to hear answers from, so if you’re thinking about responding I would still LOVE to feature you on here :) That being said, thank you SO much to everyone who has participated, read, shared, commented, and liked this blog. It makes me really happy to see that it’s making others happy and having an influence on them. So a big big big thank you!!  Much love.

Where are you from and where are you now?

I was raised in Shanty Bay until I was 14 then moved to Barrie, Ontario. I’ve moved around quite a bit - Ottawa, Toronto, India -  but currently reside in Seoul, South Korea.

What goals are you working towards and what keeps you motivated?

I'm working towards figuring out the next step and what I want to do with my life. I’m going to do some more schooling and work towards potentially having my own business someday. I'm also trying to figure out my strengths and weaknesses, who I am, and who I want to be. I've learned a lot about myself living abroad and found many improvements I would like to make. That's kind of what inspired me to start this blog. I think seeing how amazing and successful my friends and family are, how proud I am of them, and how proud I would like to make myself and those important to me, all motivate me.

What does confidence mean to you?

All the women who have responded to this have it so right. It's being yourself and not relying on others. It's not giving a damn what other people are doing or thinking and doing things for your ultimate happiness. It’s believing in yourself and what you’re capable of doing.

Where does your confidence come from?

Confidence is something I think I'll always have to work on. Growing up I was extremely shy, and still am to a point. Luckily I don't scream and cry when strangers talk to me anymore, but it doesn't mean I don't want to. Some people have told me I'm brave for moving so far away from home, so I guess that counts for something. I think I'm more confident in a place where I know no one, compared to where I know a lot of people… if that makes sense. I guess in a place where I know no one, I don’t really care what they think of me, because they know nothing about me. I think, though, by putting myself in situations that are outside of my comfort zone, my confidence continues to grow. Surrounding myself with positive and confident people really influences me, too.

As I get older, I realize things that make me feel more confident; learning is one of them. I love listening to podcasts or reading articles and sharing what I’ve learned. Intelligence is a sexy thing. Also, I’ve been doing little yoga practices on my own at home for a while; every time I notice I’m more flexible or I get better at a pose, it makes me feel really good about myself. Same goes with breaking personal running records. Every now and then I also meditate with this app called Stop, Breathe & Think. They’re short meditations but they really do make all the difference.

What do you love about yourself?

          a) Mentally?

Once I start a project, I am very about finishing it right away. I get it in my mind how the outcome will be or what something will look like, and I can finish tasks quite quickly when I set my mind to it. This has also been a bit of a problem for certain jobs I’ve had; 8 hours to do my work and I finish everything in 2… The day gets pretty boring after that. I’m also a pretty quick learner.

          b) Physically?

I think my eyes are nice. And my long torso; it stretches everything out but it can also make finding nicely fitting rompers slightly difficult…

          c) Emotionally?

This question is so hard for me to answer. I am very much aware of my emotions and how quickly they can change.. Which can be annoying at times. I get really excited about things really easily which I love because it puts me in an awesome mood. Sometimes I get too excited which can lead to disappointment, especially if the cause of excitement is just a thought or idea; but I still like my excitement levels nonetheless.

What is one of your greatest accomplishments?

My greatest accomplishment is fulfilling my traveling dreams. I remember sitting in class in grade 8 thinking “I just want to travel.” I'm proud of myself for finding ways to travel and live in different countries, even with student debt. As I said earlier, I have learned so much about myself in the process, am slowly learning what I want, have created some amazing relationships, and have really learned to appreciate everyone and everything at home- all while seeing the world and experiencing different cultures. And as my mom wrote in my birthday card this year “Thank you for showing the world to us.” It feels pretty neat to open up the world to my family and friends back home, and inspire them to travel too :)

Do you find you compare yourself to others often?

100%. Lately I’ve been trying to mentally focus on not comparing myself, but rather just acknowledging and appreciating.

What is something in your life that you have had to overcome, or that you are working to overcome?

I'm really working to improve myself as a person. I think I let my emotions and overthinking get to me too much, so I’m working on controlling that. This makes me sound like such a kid, but I really hate hearing the word “no”. And anxiety. It can be ugly but I am finding ways to control it and overcome it.

What always makes you feel better?

A good talk with someone close to me, and icecream. Actually just food in general. Food always makes me happy. Also some sort of physical activity like yoga or running. I need to do more of both. Oh and I especially love the Chive. If you’ve seen me while perusing the Chive, you know how much it can make me LOL.

Is there anything about yourself- mentally, physically, or emotionally that you would like to improve?

I have tons of room for improvement in each of those categories. On a physical note I would love to get stronger, and better in yoga.

What is one of your insecurities?

I feel like I can be really awkward around people, especially if we don't immediately click. I don't think I'm very good at small talk, nor do I feel comfortable approaching new people. I feel really lucky that many of those closest to me are people-people. Also, because I can be shy and quiet at times, I think I sometimes come off as a bit of a b*tch when I don’t mean to, so I often feel like people don’t like me because of that.

I hate that we live in a society where people are judged based on what others hear, or based on one silly mistake they made, when the people judging know nothing about that person. People (and I’m not saying that I haven’t done this) are so quick to talk, just for something to talk about. I’m really trying to be more aware of keeping thoughts like that to myself and not using other people’s lives as a conversation topic. People who are friendly to everyone, and give everyone a chance despite what they’ve heard about said person, are the best kind of people. That’s who I want to be.

How do you deal with jealousy?

Oh that green-eyed monster. I think it’s one of the worst emotions. I guess thinking of why I am jealous, if it’s a rational jealousy, and then thinking of something positive about myself. However, I am not saying I always accomplish dealing with it this easily, sometimes it gets the best of me. It’s a quality I am working to get rid of.

Do you feel pressured by societal norms for your life to turn out a certain way?

Forsure I do. I feel like i have done little towards a career and I'm more than halfway through my 20s. But traveling has always been a goal for me, so I'm happy. If I didn’t do what I’ve done and embraced the opportunities I’ve been given, I would have regrets. Travelling is also giving me an idea of what I want, and I know I want travel to be incorporated in my forever life.

Who has helped shape who you are?

My family and those I have close relationships with. I think, even though I've always basically wanted people to make important decisions for me, I've had to make them myself and my parents have never really told me I shouldn't do something. Sure, they've expressed their concerns in their own ways, but I've always had the opportunity to make my own decisions. I think having that freedom and the support from my friends and family have helped shaped me. I like to think I’m just a big jumbled mixture of all of my family members. I see a lot of their qualities in myself, and that makes me happy. I get my drive for success and my travel bug from various members of my family, and I’m lucky that I can share all of my experiences and ideas with them. The people closest to me are seriously so supportive and encouraging and I’m really grateful for that. I love looking up to people who are also my best friends.

What is the most important part of a romantic relationship?

So I should have said list the ten most important parts, because there are so many. Communication for sure. I’ve never been a great verbal communicator- especially the serious stuff- so it’s something I work on daily. Respect is a huge one. If you don’t have respect, you don’t have much; that goes for any relationship, not solely romantic. Trust and security is huge. And of course being able to be your goofy stupid self and have fun.

What are three things you are grateful for today?

My students. They teach me so much about kindness, patience, love, and simple happiness. Though they drive me absolutely crazy sometimes, they’re all so cute and unique and I love them like they’re my own.

The opportunities I have been given. I feel really lucky I've been able to do amazing things and create unforgettable memories.

The weather is cooling down FINALLY and soon fall clothes and layering will be in order. Which means doing a little bit more shopping :D

What book should I read and why?

Shantaram kept me hooked, but that could be because I read it while living in India. The Kite Runner, A Thousand Splendid Suns, and And the Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini are all heartbreaking but amazing. Also, Marching Powder was great; I love non-fiction novels. One more I read last year is called Nothing to Envy about defectors from North Korea. I love reading about the place I’m living in- or near.

Jessica V.

Jess and I met in September 2013 working as hostesses at Stock Restaurant in the Trump Tower, Toronto. Day one: TIFF had started, and we began our training at 11am. We were pretty excited about celebrety sightings in the restaurant, and after about an hour of being there, Keanu Reeves rolled in. We assumed we'd work an average 8 hour shift because training, but we were left to fend for ourselves that night (and in my opinion killed it), then could barely walk due to 12 hours in heels. Jess and I started hanging out outside of work, mixing vodka and wine and I witnessed Messica and she witnessed Krystal on more than one occasion. On one of our wine nights we walked down the street to find an empty carnival in a parking lot; needless to say, wine night continued in the strawberry tilt-a-whirl. Jess has had my back on multiple occasions; literally gave me a home before I left Canada, and I have countless memories with her from such a short period of time. She's a gorgeous, strong, driven woman, not to mention an incredible actress (and I'm not just saying that... seriously). There's somethin' about them PEI girls!

Where are you from and where are you now?

I'm from Summerside, Prince Edward Island and now I am living in Toronto, Ontario. What goals are you working towards and what keeps you motivated? I am working towards supporting myself solely through doing what I love, which is acting. If I can pay my bills and live on income from creating art, that will be my happy. What keeps me motivated is knowing how fortunate I feel to have found something I am so deeply passionate about to pursue. Not everybody has the opportunity the find that, and I certainly do not take it for granted. What does confidence mean to you? To me confidence is tricky. It is something that can make you so happy if you have it, or so lost if you struggle to find it. I view it as a yin yang of sorts. Finding the balance of confidence with just the right amount of humility being the good side, and yet just as big and equally as easy to fall under is the bad side. The dark side with a tiny bit of light that is far too weak to be heard. Too much envy and not enough understanding of yourself, and how special you are as well. It took me a long time to balance this, but I believe the moment you realize you are who you are, and you like who you are as a person is when you can truly begin to be confident. I remember this time in my life as if it were a light switch. As I got older I solidified my morals, and what I liked and disliked. I prioritized my thoughts and actions and starting standing up for what I believe in and standing up for myself . It's so easy to be bullied into being someone you’re not. That is the scaffolding of my confidence, and in today's world it is important to keep reminding yourself of that structure. It becomes difficult not to look at the grass and think it to be greener on the other side. And of course I still struggle with that; I believe everybody does. But if that feeling can become less and less as time goes on, then you're doing something right in terms of loving yourself. And that's the idea; to have less envy and more self love. To be happy for others, and happy for yourself. Positive energy is so much better for your soul than negative. So what ever you have to do to find that, do it. What do you love about yourself? a) Mentally? I am so happy that mentally I did not allow myself to second guess my decision to quit University and pursue Acting. There is no regret floating around in my mind, because I won't allow it. Almost all of my friends went to University and they have great jobs as a result that are allowing them to buy cars, and houses, etc. Their lives as adults are taking shape, and it's beautiful to watch. I am not there financially and I am happy that mentally this does not make me think twice about my direction. Everyone is on their own life path and regret is a dangerous poison. b) Physically? I am most happy physically when told I look like any one of my family members. I believe them to be the most beautiful humans (inside and out) and that to me is the best compliment. c) Emotionally? I’m so lucky to be able to Love. So many people have been stripped of that emotion due to circumstances beyond their control and that is a devastating thing. What is something in your life that you have had to overcome, or that you are working to overcome? Homesickness. Leaving behind my family and moving from Prince Edward Island to Toronto was very tough at first. It took every bit of strength I possibly had to keep myself in Toronto in the beginning. As passionate as I was/am about my craft, it didn't even come close to how much I missed my family. I spent many nights with tears as my company wondering just how bad I wanted this life of entertainment. There were many conversations with my family, fighting every urge to pack it all back up and crawl back into the comforts of home. But there is a difference between a gut feeling and an emotion. My gut was screaming that I stay in Toronto and that this was where I needed to be, but my emotions were making it so difficult to listen. It took a few years, some great experiences on set and new friends to dull the pain of missing home. It was like one day I woke up and I had a family in Toronto as well. I had friends, and favorite places, I had hobbies and a new sense of appreciation for the city. Homesickness never went away and never will, but my ways of dealing with it have allowed me so much growth.

What always makes you feel better?
I’ll keep this one short because it is the first thing that popped into my head. The answer is food. There is no denying that. Even better? Food with family, friends or my amazing boyfriend. Is there anything about yourself- mentally, physically, or emotionally that you would like to improve? Of course. I like the word improve. Improving is just growing on top of what you have already built. And the idea is to love what you have built. So things like deciding that being in shape is something that makes me happy and feel good, then I will always be conscious of improving that. If I feel best when I am focused on positives and removing negatives, then that's what I will always be trying to improve. I want to look good, feel good and give off good. Not because of jealousy, or societal pressure but simply because that is what makes ME feel best. What is one of your insecurities? Its horrible to say after so much talk about confidence, but I hate my teeth. It's something I'm working on; a broken off piece of my love yourself puzzle. But no matter how hard I try it still remains an insecurity. Truth be told, if I had all the money in the world I wouldn't change anything on my body, with the exception of my teeth. Gimme dem pearly white chiclets. Who has helped shape who you are? I owe the foundation of my soul to my family. I won a lottery being born into this family, and I will never take that for granted. Next up is my friends. I have had the most amazing friendships for as long as I can remember, and am so thankful for that. There have been a lot of people throughout my life that, even if they don’t know it, have shaped who I am. Every experience you have can tell you something about yourself, if you are listening. What is the most important part of a romantic relationship? Friendship. I wouldn't have known that 3 years ago. I was forever single in Toronto missing home when I met him, and everything I have written so far in this blog has more confidence and certainty because of knowing him. He is everything I want in a best friend, and because of that I fell in love with him. He took me from a homesick girl, to a confident woman. He helped me put all of those pieces together to build on what I was trying to for so long. Through him I can see his version of me; I'm so lucky that that version is strong and beautiful, and that he never lets me forget it.

What are three things you are grateful for today?
Being on PEI for a summer vacation.
That my mom is sitting across the table from me while I type this.

That we are having bbq tonight. Yes.

What book should I read and why? You should read the BOOK OF AWESOME, because sometimes we need to be reminded of the little things in life that make us happy.

Madeline C.

When I told my friend Jess that I was moving to Seoul, the first thing she said was 'you HAVE to meet my friend Maddy, you guys will totally hit it off.' So, a week after I arrived, Maddy and I went on our first date: we had dinner (where I was quite embarrassed because I had not yet adjusted to Korean spice and my nose was running like mad), then proceeded to a bar where we drank with a self-proclaimed famous Korean ajussi and his friends. From then on, Maddy and I hung out all the time, and eventually started travelling around Korea together on multiple weekend trips. We also had quite a time in China (you can read about it here) for our summer vacation. Maddy is always fun to be around; her positive energy and contagious laugh are impossible to ignore and she is one of the most friendly, beautiful, and easy-going people I've ever met. One of these days...or years... I will visit her in PEI or Calgary... or both :)

Where are you from and where are you
now?
I am from Prince Edward Island, Canada. My recent home of two years was Seoul, South Korea (where I was lucky enough to meet Kristen) and my soon to be home will be Calgary, as I will be starting school there this Fall. What goals are you working towards and what keeps you motivated? I was recently accepted into the Midwifery Program at Mount Royal University and I will begin school there this Fall. I’m currently very focused on that - on successfully completing my degree and absorbing as much information and advice as I possibly can before I hopefully embark on my profession as a Midwife. The idea of bringing more pregnancy-centred healthcare options and information for women is what currently keeps me motivated. I cannot wait to one day be a positive influence on mothers, their partners, and on their babies during the pregnancy and birthing process.
What does confidence mean to you? To me, confidence is knowing that, just because there are other beautiful, intelligent, and interesting people in the room, that does not mean you, yourself, are any LESS beautiful, intelligent, or interesting. I think that all too often people feel ‘situationally confident’ based on the time, or place, or people present. Certainly, we all have days when we feel a bit better than other days, but I think that confidence has to come from a place inside you, a place where you’ve accepted all of your small (or big) flaws and love yourself entirely, despite them. Where does your confidence come from? Growing up, my parents always made me feel as though I could do absolutely anything… But it wasn’t that sometimes blind, misguided confidence where they made me feel as though whatever I wanted would simply come to me - it was a ‘If you work REALLY hard, THEN you can do anything’ type of confidence, and I have carried that with me throughout my entire life. Sure, I have come across situations where I did not feel entirely confident in my knowledge or my abilities, but if I simply remember that the work you put into something often equals the rewards that you reap from it, then I feel much more confident that I can tackle anything thrown my way. What do you love about yourself? a) Mentally? Mentally, I love my decision making and reasoning skills. I consider myself to be a very logical and practical person, and this way of thinking has proven to be very beneficial in many areas of my life. b) Physically? Physically, I love my strength. It has always been very important to me to be strong physically, not just for health or aesthetic reasons, but also for simple, everyday scenarios. I love knowing that whatever situation I may find myself in, I can rely on my body to get me through it. c) Emotionally? Emotionally, I love that I have a tendency to see, feel, and to internalize most situations in life as positive ones. I can appreciate when things are bad, but I think that I often tend to ‘look at the bright side’ of things, which is something about myself that I really love.

What is one of your greatest accomplishments?
I honestly think that moving to Seoul entirely on my own and flourishing in the way that I did there is one of my greatest accomplishments to date. I’ve always been proud of my ability to adapt to any and all situations in life but that move was definitely a true test of that, and I couldn’t be happier with the way it turned out. Allowing myself to move to a foreign country and to be entirely open to a new culture and way of life was one of the best things I’ve ever done, and I feel very proud of that. Do you find you compare yourself to others often? It happens, of course. Especially in this day and age of social media, it can be so easy to find yourself caught in a downward spiralling vortex of staring at beautiful ‘Instagram Models’ on their vacations in Majorca and wishing that you had their lives, bodies, and wardrobes (don’t tell me you’ve never done this). BUT the reality of it comes down to the fact that I’m HAPPY, and when I take a second to remember that, none of that other stuff really matters anyway… However, I’m also a strong believer in self change and constantly working to make yourself a better human. So, if you see something in another person that you really admire, I also don’t think it’s necessarily such a bad thing to allow that comparison of someone else’s great traits to inspire you to be a better person. In this sense, comparison to others CAN be a good thing, when used in a positive manner, rather than for self deprecation.
Is there anything about yourself- mentally, physically, or emotionally that you would like to improve? I am currently trying to improve on my ability to depend on others. I am a fiercely independent individual, and although that is something that I really do love about myself, I often have a very difficult time accepting other people’s help. Not only do I have trouble surrendering control in certain situations, but I also often feel guilty asking others, even friends or family, for support. I know that my life would be much more enjoyable and fulfilling if I were to openly accept the help that my loved ones try and give to me, and this is something that I am currently really trying to work on.


Do you feel pressured by societal norms for your life to turn out a certain way?
Absolutely.. About 5 months ago, upon returning from South Korea and some subsequent travelling, I was 25, single, unemployed, and entirely unsure of what my next step in life was. Although I was happy and I had loved my time abroad, ‘societal norms’ had me feeling like I had potentially made a mistake choosing to work overseas for two years in a profession that I did not see myself in forever.. However, I stuck to my guns and now, just a few months later, I’m about to embark on an entirely new chapter of my life; I’m moving to a new city, I’m going back to school, and I’m in a relationship with the most kind and supportive person I’ve ever known. All of these things happened BECAUSE I didn’t necessarily take the most direct, or standard route to this place, and I am so grateful for that. So yes, I do feel pressure by societal norms and I do believe that this pressure can be good in some senses - to perhaps guide or steer you when you feel a little lost, but in conclusion, I’m so happy that I didn’t follow the ‘typical’ path set out by society to get me where I am today.


Who has helped shape who you are?
I think that there are a lot of people and experiences that have helped shape who I am today, but I definitely do credit a lot of who I am to my amazing parents. I consider myself to be a strong, independent, and confident young woman and these are things that I know came from my parents… I don’t want to delve too deep into my Feminist beliefs, but growing up, my parents NEVER made me feel as though there were things I couldn’t do, or things I couldn’t achieve, because I was a girl. The women influences in my life - my mother, my older sister, my aunts, and my grandmothers, are truly the most inspiring, most accomplished, and most amazing people that I know, and their strength has always helped me to fight and to stand up for who I am and what I know I’m worth. What is the most important part of a romantic relationship? I think that respect is an absolute must in any strong, fulfilling romantic relationship. When you truly respect another person then that automatically instills a desire to be honest, kind, supportive, and decent to them. I think that this respect also encompasses a feeling of equality and partnership between a couple, which I think is vital. What are three things you are grateful for today? I am grateful for my amazingly supportive and fun-loving family; I am grateful for my friends, new and old, who I can always count on for an ear, a shoulder, or a drink; and I am grateful for my significant other who, in just a short time, has proven to me that unconditional love truly does exist, and that not only do I have it with him, but that I am worthy of it as well. What book should I read and why? ‘The Birth House’ by Ami Mckay. Perhaps this is a shameless plug for me to get you (and hopefully others) to read a book about the life of a Midwife, but it’s honestly an amazing book, not only based in Atlantic Canada, but also written by a Maritimer.

Breanne D.

I met Bre in University in a class that we both ended up dropping. I could not relate more to Bre's answer about her insecurity- I feel the exact same way. Thankfully as soon as we started talking I knew she was one of my people, and we ended up living and working together second year. We spent multiple nights taking too many shots, eating an entire Dominos pizza plus delicious carby desserts, and I have shared some of the worst hangovers of my life with her as well. Jack Daniels was spoiled for me for many years. Third year we both moved away from Ottawa and I have barely seen her since, but can't wait to visit her out west. Bre is a fun, spontaneous, beautiful, generous, amazing woman. She is so easy to talk to without judgments. I barely stayed in contact with anyone I met in Ottawa, but I will always consider Bre a good friend.

Where are you from and where are you now?
I am from Whitby, Ontario; a suburb at its finest. I grew up there and moved to Ottawa for a few years to attend university when I was 19. I currently live in Vancouver, BC and think it is the most amazing city in the world.

What goals are you working towards and what keeps you motivated?
I am currently working towards the goal of being able to afford buying my first home with my boyfriend. Vancouver real estate seems a bit out of reach, but it is worth it. The idea of putting down roots here and starting a family is what motivates me.

What does confidence mean to you?
Confidence means being comfortable in your own skin, being proud of who you are and loving yourself even with your imperfections. Confidence is beautiful inside and out. It’s like Dr. Seuss said; “Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”

Where does your confidence come from?
My confidence is the result of love. Love from my mother and bestfriend/boyfriend specifically. Growing up I was insecure and shy, but my Mum always encouraged me to grow into myself (literally…I am really tall) and she set such an amazing example for me. She is a beautiful, confident and fiercely independent lady. My boyfriend pushed me to be my best self and venture outside of my comfort zone, that’s when I really flourished into the confident woman I am today. Learn to love yourself and you will find your confidence.

What do you love about yourself?
a)Mentally?
I am a very logical and levelheaded person. I believe I am very stable and I have always been very witty.

b) Physically?
I love my height. This used to be a big source of insecurity for me, being taller than most people I met (men included) and all the other kids growing up, but I have learned to love it.


c) Emotionally?
I always try to see the good in people. I always put others first and would do anything for the people I love.


What is one of your greatest accomplishments?
One of my greatest accomplishments was having the courage to move across the country and start fresh with no family or friends out here. Also becoming the general manager of my own restaurant after moving up the ranks in the company in 3 years.

Do you find you compare yourself to others often?
Comparison is the thief of joy….So I try not to.

What is something in your life that you have had to overcome, or that you are working to overcome?
I have had to overcome my fear of public speaking in order to be successful in my career. This is an ongoing battle, which I am working to master.

What always makes you feel better?
Dancing like a goofball with my boyfriend, having a good belly laugh, facetiming my dogs at home and going for night drives while listening to music.

Is there anything about yourself- mentally, physically, or emotionally that you would like to improve?
I would like to be more emotionally open with my feelings and I would like to be more health conscious. Don’t get me wrong I am never going to stop eating tasty food, but everything in moderation, right?

What is one of your insecurities?
I am extremely awkward around new people, especially in large groups, and I tend to retreat back into my shell. I really hate small talk and so meeting new people who I don’t naturally click with can be painfully awkward.

How do you deal with jealousy?
I always try and put myself in the other person’s shoes, or think about how

I would like something if I was in their position. When I feel jealous I remind myself, everything happens for a reason, and what is meant to be will be in the end regardless of the energy I put into being jealous. If someone cares about you they won’t make you jealous (at least not on purpose).

Do you feel pressured by societal norms for your life to turn out a certain way?
I used to, but I don’t anymore. I went to university because it was what I thought I was supposed to do, when really I had no idea what I wanted to do. Now I don’t care about being ‘normal’, that actually sounds pretty boring.

Who has helped shape who you are?
My mum has had such a huge impact on me, she was my role model growing up for sure. She was and is such a strong independent woman who overcame so many things in her life and always set a good example for me. She taught me to be strong and not to take shit from anyone. Then there is my boyfriend who is my best friend. He has pushed me to achieve things I never thought possible for myself. He helped me learn to really love myself for who I am.

What is the most important part of a romantic relationship?
Trust. Love. Support.

What are three things you are grateful for today?
My relationship, my family and my health.

What book should I read and why?
Alicia: my story. I read this in my teenage years and it opened my eyes to real pain and suffering. If she could overcome the things she did in her life then anything is possible. It is gritty and sad but I’ve always been a sucker for a sad story.