Paige R.

Paige or as I like to call her, Pee, was my very first friend in high school. We sat beside each other in science class and she drew me in with her beautiful green eyes :) Pee has this goofy, playful personality about her; she's so easy to be around. I have countless memories of roaming the streets of Barrie on hot summer nights, talking about teenage girl stuff. Though I can't remember the last time I saw her, I'll always consider her a good friend.

Where are you from and where are you now?

I’m from Barrie. My family moved there when I was a baby and I moved away to Ottawa when I was 20. I’m still in Ottawa but only for another couple months.

What goals are you working towards and what keeps you motivated?

My main goal is to feel secure with myself. I have trouble feeling grounded and I’m always worried about what I think I should be doing that I forget what I want or love to do. It’s like I forget how to trust myself. I have a habit of trying to make everyone else happy (even though I quickly learned that it’s impossible to do.) I tend to shut down, and I hold things in, and I know that’s not very healthy. Anyways, I’m learning, and I have my days.

What keeps me motivated?

My family and loved ones, for sure. It’s the best when I’m happy and they’re happy and life is good; simple. I think the more I work on my goals and myself the more often this will be.

What does confidence mean to you?

Being able to release your inhibitions without thinking about what you look like from the outside. Self-acceptance. Confidence is a power tool and it’s also contagious.

Where does your confidence come from?

Confidence and self-esteem is something I’m always working on. I practice self-care. I try to take ‘me moments’ every day. Writing definitely helps me. I find it so therapeutic and useful when I’m trying to quiet my brain. I try to take care of my body and eat well. Doing all this totally helps me feel more in tune with myself, more comfortable in my skin. I feel like it comes from my role models as well. There are women and men in my life that remind me not to take myself (and life) too seriously. I always want to be more like them in that way. They teach me every day without even knowing it.

What do you love about yourself?
        a) Mentally?

I have a pretty good memory. I remember strange and little details about things.

      

       b) Physically?

My hair is very cooperative.

      

       c) Emotionally?

At first I wanted to say that I love how sensitive I am. But truthfully I have a love-hate relationship with this. I think ultimately it’s a pretty special thing, to be able to pick up on energies and feel so many things at once, but it’s also exhausting. My second answer, I guess, is my patience. I can stay pretty calm in heated situations. I don’t get angry too often.

What is one of your greatest accomplishments?

I graduated university and survived this city and all the bumps along the way. I worked really hard to do that and I finally feel like I’m in a good place.

Do you find you compare yourself to others often?

Too much too often, it’s a terrible habit... especially girls comparing other girls. We can be really motivating and empowering when we accept one another and embrace our differences. Fer real.

What is something in your life that you have had to overcome, or that you are working to overcome?

I have some inner demons and past experiences that I’ve ignored or pushed away and in the past year or two they are surfacing. I’ve been dealing with some anxiety and this affects my relationships with the people around me. It’s definitely a work in progress.

What always makes you feel better?

Sunshine.

Is there anything about yourself- mentally, physically, or emotionally that you would like to improve?

I’m trying not to worry so much, and to rest more. My mom always said ‘you’ll worry yourself sick’ and she was right.

What is one of your insecurities?

I have big feet and they are flat so really they are just long. I’m short so I feel like it’s really noticeable.

How do you deal with jealousy?

I try to think of the bigger picture; put things in perspective. I self-reflect... why am I jealous? What do I feel so threatened by? When you turn the attention back to yourself it’s both a distraction and a lesson. I used to get jealous a lot more than I do now but I realized it takes a lot of energy out of you, and it makes you bitter. I don’t want to be like that, so I’d rather focus my energy elsewhere.

Do you feel pressured by societal norms for your life to turn out a certain way?

Yeah, I do sometimes, even though I know these norms are constructed and so mostly fictional or

unattainable. It’s important to remember that life isn’t a race or a competition.

Who has helped shape who you are?

My family. Including my closest friends.

What is the most important part of a romantic relationship?

Communication and acceptance.  My best and most healthy relationship is the one where I can tell my partner anything and not feel judged. Sharing feelings and dreams is a really intimate thing, you know?

What are three things you are grateful for today?

This gorgeous weather! My strong coffee!  My man who makes me laugh!

What book should I read and why?

A Complicated Kindness by Miriam Toewes, because it's simply beautiful and heartbreaking.