Jessica V.

Jess and I met in September 2013 working as hostesses at Stock Restaurant in the Trump Tower, Toronto. Day one: TIFF had started, and we began our training at 11am. We were pretty excited about celebrety sightings in the restaurant, and after about an hour of being there, Keanu Reeves rolled in. We assumed we'd work an average 8 hour shift because training, but we were left to fend for ourselves that night (and in my opinion killed it), then could barely walk due to 12 hours in heels. Jess and I started hanging out outside of work, mixing vodka and wine and I witnessed Messica and she witnessed Krystal on more than one occasion. On one of our wine nights we walked down the street to find an empty carnival in a parking lot; needless to say, wine night continued in the strawberry tilt-a-whirl. Jess has had my back on multiple occasions; literally gave me a home before I left Canada, and I have countless memories with her from such a short period of time. She's a gorgeous, strong, driven woman, not to mention an incredible actress (and I'm not just saying that... seriously). There's somethin' about them PEI girls!

Where are you from and where are you now?

I'm from Summerside, Prince Edward Island and now I am living in Toronto, Ontario. What goals are you working towards and what keeps you motivated? I am working towards supporting myself solely through doing what I love, which is acting. If I can pay my bills and live on income from creating art, that will be my happy. What keeps me motivated is knowing how fortunate I feel to have found something I am so deeply passionate about to pursue. Not everybody has the opportunity the find that, and I certainly do not take it for granted. What does confidence mean to you? To me confidence is tricky. It is something that can make you so happy if you have it, or so lost if you struggle to find it. I view it as a yin yang of sorts. Finding the balance of confidence with just the right amount of humility being the good side, and yet just as big and equally as easy to fall under is the bad side. The dark side with a tiny bit of light that is far too weak to be heard. Too much envy and not enough understanding of yourself, and how special you are as well. It took me a long time to balance this, but I believe the moment you realize you are who you are, and you like who you are as a person is when you can truly begin to be confident. I remember this time in my life as if it were a light switch. As I got older I solidified my morals, and what I liked and disliked. I prioritized my thoughts and actions and starting standing up for what I believe in and standing up for myself . It's so easy to be bullied into being someone you’re not. That is the scaffolding of my confidence, and in today's world it is important to keep reminding yourself of that structure. It becomes difficult not to look at the grass and think it to be greener on the other side. And of course I still struggle with that; I believe everybody does. But if that feeling can become less and less as time goes on, then you're doing something right in terms of loving yourself. And that's the idea; to have less envy and more self love. To be happy for others, and happy for yourself. Positive energy is so much better for your soul than negative. So what ever you have to do to find that, do it. What do you love about yourself? a) Mentally? I am so happy that mentally I did not allow myself to second guess my decision to quit University and pursue Acting. There is no regret floating around in my mind, because I won't allow it. Almost all of my friends went to University and they have great jobs as a result that are allowing them to buy cars, and houses, etc. Their lives as adults are taking shape, and it's beautiful to watch. I am not there financially and I am happy that mentally this does not make me think twice about my direction. Everyone is on their own life path and regret is a dangerous poison. b) Physically? I am most happy physically when told I look like any one of my family members. I believe them to be the most beautiful humans (inside and out) and that to me is the best compliment. c) Emotionally? I’m so lucky to be able to Love. So many people have been stripped of that emotion due to circumstances beyond their control and that is a devastating thing. What is something in your life that you have had to overcome, or that you are working to overcome? Homesickness. Leaving behind my family and moving from Prince Edward Island to Toronto was very tough at first. It took every bit of strength I possibly had to keep myself in Toronto in the beginning. As passionate as I was/am about my craft, it didn't even come close to how much I missed my family. I spent many nights with tears as my company wondering just how bad I wanted this life of entertainment. There were many conversations with my family, fighting every urge to pack it all back up and crawl back into the comforts of home. But there is a difference between a gut feeling and an emotion. My gut was screaming that I stay in Toronto and that this was where I needed to be, but my emotions were making it so difficult to listen. It took a few years, some great experiences on set and new friends to dull the pain of missing home. It was like one day I woke up and I had a family in Toronto as well. I had friends, and favorite places, I had hobbies and a new sense of appreciation for the city. Homesickness never went away and never will, but my ways of dealing with it have allowed me so much growth.

What always makes you feel better?
I’ll keep this one short because it is the first thing that popped into my head. The answer is food. There is no denying that. Even better? Food with family, friends or my amazing boyfriend. Is there anything about yourself- mentally, physically, or emotionally that you would like to improve? Of course. I like the word improve. Improving is just growing on top of what you have already built. And the idea is to love what you have built. So things like deciding that being in shape is something that makes me happy and feel good, then I will always be conscious of improving that. If I feel best when I am focused on positives and removing negatives, then that's what I will always be trying to improve. I want to look good, feel good and give off good. Not because of jealousy, or societal pressure but simply because that is what makes ME feel best. What is one of your insecurities? Its horrible to say after so much talk about confidence, but I hate my teeth. It's something I'm working on; a broken off piece of my love yourself puzzle. But no matter how hard I try it still remains an insecurity. Truth be told, if I had all the money in the world I wouldn't change anything on my body, with the exception of my teeth. Gimme dem pearly white chiclets. Who has helped shape who you are? I owe the foundation of my soul to my family. I won a lottery being born into this family, and I will never take that for granted. Next up is my friends. I have had the most amazing friendships for as long as I can remember, and am so thankful for that. There have been a lot of people throughout my life that, even if they don’t know it, have shaped who I am. Every experience you have can tell you something about yourself, if you are listening. What is the most important part of a romantic relationship? Friendship. I wouldn't have known that 3 years ago. I was forever single in Toronto missing home when I met him, and everything I have written so far in this blog has more confidence and certainty because of knowing him. He is everything I want in a best friend, and because of that I fell in love with him. He took me from a homesick girl, to a confident woman. He helped me put all of those pieces together to build on what I was trying to for so long. Through him I can see his version of me; I'm so lucky that that version is strong and beautiful, and that he never lets me forget it.

What are three things you are grateful for today?
Being on PEI for a summer vacation.
That my mom is sitting across the table from me while I type this.

That we are having bbq tonight. Yes.

What book should I read and why? You should read the BOOK OF AWESOME, because sometimes we need to be reminded of the little things in life that make us happy.