Kristen S.

Since I started this blog, a couple people have mentioned that they’re looking forward to reading my answers; I figured it was about time I share them with you after so many amazing women agreed to open themselves up to people they do and do not know. I’ve been thinking about doing a blog like this for a while now. I was always curious about certain people’s strength and confidence in themselves, so I asked women who I view as strong and confident to complete the questions for me. Of course, it’s a LOT to ask- these aren’t easy questions, and they can be quite personal. There are many people who I’d love to hear answers from, so if you’re thinking about responding I would still LOVE to feature you on here :) That being said, thank you SO much to everyone who has participated, read, shared, commented, and liked this blog. It makes me really happy to see that it’s making others happy and having an influence on them. So a big big big thank you!!  Much love.

Where are you from and where are you now?

I was raised in Shanty Bay until I was 14 then moved to Barrie, Ontario. I’ve moved around quite a bit - Ottawa, Toronto, India -  but currently reside in Seoul, South Korea.

What goals are you working towards and what keeps you motivated?

I'm working towards figuring out the next step and what I want to do with my life. I’m going to do some more schooling and work towards potentially having my own business someday. I'm also trying to figure out my strengths and weaknesses, who I am, and who I want to be. I've learned a lot about myself living abroad and found many improvements I would like to make. That's kind of what inspired me to start this blog. I think seeing how amazing and successful my friends and family are, how proud I am of them, and how proud I would like to make myself and those important to me, all motivate me.

What does confidence mean to you?

All the women who have responded to this have it so right. It's being yourself and not relying on others. It's not giving a damn what other people are doing or thinking and doing things for your ultimate happiness. It’s believing in yourself and what you’re capable of doing.

Where does your confidence come from?

Confidence is something I think I'll always have to work on. Growing up I was extremely shy, and still am to a point. Luckily I don't scream and cry when strangers talk to me anymore, but it doesn't mean I don't want to. Some people have told me I'm brave for moving so far away from home, so I guess that counts for something. I think I'm more confident in a place where I know no one, compared to where I know a lot of people… if that makes sense. I guess in a place where I know no one, I don’t really care what they think of me, because they know nothing about me. I think, though, by putting myself in situations that are outside of my comfort zone, my confidence continues to grow. Surrounding myself with positive and confident people really influences me, too.

As I get older, I realize things that make me feel more confident; learning is one of them. I love listening to podcasts or reading articles and sharing what I’ve learned. Intelligence is a sexy thing. Also, I’ve been doing little yoga practices on my own at home for a while; every time I notice I’m more flexible or I get better at a pose, it makes me feel really good about myself. Same goes with breaking personal running records. Every now and then I also meditate with this app called Stop, Breathe & Think. They’re short meditations but they really do make all the difference.

What do you love about yourself?

          a) Mentally?

Once I start a project, I am very about finishing it right away. I get it in my mind how the outcome will be or what something will look like, and I can finish tasks quite quickly when I set my mind to it. This has also been a bit of a problem for certain jobs I’ve had; 8 hours to do my work and I finish everything in 2… The day gets pretty boring after that. I’m also a pretty quick learner.

          b) Physically?

I think my eyes are nice. And my long torso; it stretches everything out but it can also make finding nicely fitting rompers slightly difficult…

          c) Emotionally?

This question is so hard for me to answer. I am very much aware of my emotions and how quickly they can change.. Which can be annoying at times. I get really excited about things really easily which I love because it puts me in an awesome mood. Sometimes I get too excited which can lead to disappointment, especially if the cause of excitement is just a thought or idea; but I still like my excitement levels nonetheless.

What is one of your greatest accomplishments?

My greatest accomplishment is fulfilling my traveling dreams. I remember sitting in class in grade 8 thinking “I just want to travel.” I'm proud of myself for finding ways to travel and live in different countries, even with student debt. As I said earlier, I have learned so much about myself in the process, am slowly learning what I want, have created some amazing relationships, and have really learned to appreciate everyone and everything at home- all while seeing the world and experiencing different cultures. And as my mom wrote in my birthday card this year “Thank you for showing the world to us.” It feels pretty neat to open up the world to my family and friends back home, and inspire them to travel too :)

Do you find you compare yourself to others often?

100%. Lately I’ve been trying to mentally focus on not comparing myself, but rather just acknowledging and appreciating.

What is something in your life that you have had to overcome, or that you are working to overcome?

I'm really working to improve myself as a person. I think I let my emotions and overthinking get to me too much, so I’m working on controlling that. This makes me sound like such a kid, but I really hate hearing the word “no”. And anxiety. It can be ugly but I am finding ways to control it and overcome it.

What always makes you feel better?

A good talk with someone close to me, and icecream. Actually just food in general. Food always makes me happy. Also some sort of physical activity like yoga or running. I need to do more of both. Oh and I especially love the Chive. If you’ve seen me while perusing the Chive, you know how much it can make me LOL.

Is there anything about yourself- mentally, physically, or emotionally that you would like to improve?

I have tons of room for improvement in each of those categories. On a physical note I would love to get stronger, and better in yoga.

What is one of your insecurities?

I feel like I can be really awkward around people, especially if we don't immediately click. I don't think I'm very good at small talk, nor do I feel comfortable approaching new people. I feel really lucky that many of those closest to me are people-people. Also, because I can be shy and quiet at times, I think I sometimes come off as a bit of a b*tch when I don’t mean to, so I often feel like people don’t like me because of that.

I hate that we live in a society where people are judged based on what others hear, or based on one silly mistake they made, when the people judging know nothing about that person. People (and I’m not saying that I haven’t done this) are so quick to talk, just for something to talk about. I’m really trying to be more aware of keeping thoughts like that to myself and not using other people’s lives as a conversation topic. People who are friendly to everyone, and give everyone a chance despite what they’ve heard about said person, are the best kind of people. That’s who I want to be.

How do you deal with jealousy?

Oh that green-eyed monster. I think it’s one of the worst emotions. I guess thinking of why I am jealous, if it’s a rational jealousy, and then thinking of something positive about myself. However, I am not saying I always accomplish dealing with it this easily, sometimes it gets the best of me. It’s a quality I am working to get rid of.

Do you feel pressured by societal norms for your life to turn out a certain way?

Forsure I do. I feel like i have done little towards a career and I'm more than halfway through my 20s. But traveling has always been a goal for me, so I'm happy. If I didn’t do what I’ve done and embraced the opportunities I’ve been given, I would have regrets. Travelling is also giving me an idea of what I want, and I know I want travel to be incorporated in my forever life.

Who has helped shape who you are?

My family and those I have close relationships with. I think, even though I've always basically wanted people to make important decisions for me, I've had to make them myself and my parents have never really told me I shouldn't do something. Sure, they've expressed their concerns in their own ways, but I've always had the opportunity to make my own decisions. I think having that freedom and the support from my friends and family have helped shaped me. I like to think I’m just a big jumbled mixture of all of my family members. I see a lot of their qualities in myself, and that makes me happy. I get my drive for success and my travel bug from various members of my family, and I’m lucky that I can share all of my experiences and ideas with them. The people closest to me are seriously so supportive and encouraging and I’m really grateful for that. I love looking up to people who are also my best friends.

What is the most important part of a romantic relationship?

So I should have said list the ten most important parts, because there are so many. Communication for sure. I’ve never been a great verbal communicator- especially the serious stuff- so it’s something I work on daily. Respect is a huge one. If you don’t have respect, you don’t have much; that goes for any relationship, not solely romantic. Trust and security is huge. And of course being able to be your goofy stupid self and have fun.

What are three things you are grateful for today?

My students. They teach me so much about kindness, patience, love, and simple happiness. Though they drive me absolutely crazy sometimes, they’re all so cute and unique and I love them like they’re my own.

The opportunities I have been given. I feel really lucky I've been able to do amazing things and create unforgettable memories.

The weather is cooling down FINALLY and soon fall clothes and layering will be in order. Which means doing a little bit more shopping :D

What book should I read and why?

Shantaram kept me hooked, but that could be because I read it while living in India. The Kite Runner, A Thousand Splendid Suns, and And the Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini are all heartbreaking but amazing. Also, Marching Powder was great; I love non-fiction novels. One more I read last year is called Nothing to Envy about defectors from North Korea. I love reading about the place I’m living in- or near.